I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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