I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Randomize
