yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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