He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
where are my pants?
in the oven.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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