You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
