That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
