Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
