none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
