Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Randomize
