Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
