I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
