Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
