So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
