i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
