We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
