so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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