So drunk, too bad you don't want this
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
