She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
