I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize
