Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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