he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
