Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
