you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize