Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
