my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
