i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize