yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize