i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Come see our sink grown plant.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
