You smell like stripper and shame
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
