question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
