Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
