walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I feel like abortions should bother me more
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Randomize
