You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Randomize
