Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
