I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
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