Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
