This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
