I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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