bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
