she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
