There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I just blew my weed a kiss
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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