I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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