Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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