Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Randomize
