Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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