im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Randomize
