Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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