I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
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