That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
