I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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