I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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