.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
