Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
