no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
