i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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