WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
