Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
