Sry I called you an 8
Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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