I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
