i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
