You made me cry and you don't even care
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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