at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Randomize
