In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I just had sex on a roof
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Randomize
