At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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