Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
