I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
