Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Randomize
