This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Did I show you my penis last night?
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
